What Horseback Riding Taught Me About Leadership (and My Wallet)

My daughter rides horses, and over the years I have watched her grow, not just as a rider but as a person. My wife and I did not grow up around horses, so stepping into this world has been a huge learning curve. We have had to learn a whole new language: dressage, reins, tack, posting (not the social media kind). We also quickly discovered that this sport is not cheap. For my friends who think golf is expensive, try feeding, grooming, and transporting a 1,200-pound teammate.

As I have watched my daughter progress, I have realized horseback riding is full of leadership lessons that apply far beyond the arena. A seasoned trainer can teach a horse new skills, but ultimately both horse and rider must learn and grow together. Over time, they form a true team, just as leaders and their teams must.

Here are some of the most powerful lessons I have seen her learn:

Patience Pays Off

Horses do not learn new skills overnight, and neither do riders. My daughter started riding when she was about four or five years old. Now, ten years later, she has a wealth of experience under her belt and a much deeper appreciation for what growth and development really mean.

Building that partnership with a horse takes hours of quiet, repetitive work that does not look flashy to an outsider. The progress often happens so gradually that you barely notice it until one day it all comes together.

Leadership is the same. Quick fixes are tempting, but meaningful growth, whether between a rider and horse or a leader and team, takes time, trust, and intentional practice. It requires consistency and a willingness to invest in the long game, knowing that real change does not happen overnight.

Perseverance Builds Confidence

There have been many tears as my daughter has tried to learn and grow as a rider. It is heartbreaking to watch her walk out of the arena frustrated or disappointed, especially when she has not met her own expectations. Some of the best lessons, however, come through those very moments of failure. They are tough lessons that sting in the moment, but they shape her into a better rider, partner, and competitor.

Over and over, she has chosen to get back on, both literally and figuratively, after tough rides and hard lessons. And then there are the moments when it all comes together. She and her horse move as one, the ride is smooth, and sometimes there is even a blue ribbon to show for it. In those moments, her smile is contagious. All the time, energy, and tears suddenly feel worth the journey.

Leadership is the same. Progress is rarely linear, and setbacks can feel heavy. But perseverance, and being willing to learn from failure, is what ultimately builds confidence and credibility. And when the great ride happens, sharing that joy with your team makes every bit of the effort worth it.

Control Is Shared, Not Taken

No matter how skilled the rider, they are never fully in control. A successful ride is a partnership built on trust, where both horse and rider have roles to play.

As a parent watching from the sidelines, my heart usually pounds the moment the canter begins, especially if there are 10 to 15 other girls and horses all trying to do the same thing in the same arena. One unpredictable move from a horse can change everything.

That is part of what makes riding so humbling. It is not about dominating the horse. It is about working together, communicating well, and knowing when to lead and when to allow the horse to respond.

Great leaders understand this too. They guide with vision and clarity, but they also recognize they are never fully in control. The best leaders create an environment of trust, empower their teams to lead, and understand that real success comes from shared ownership, just like a great ride.

The Hard Work Happens Between "Shows"

The big events, the competitions, ribbons, and applause, are just the visible tip of the iceberg. Most of the progress happens in the quiet, unseen work of daily rides.

One of the things we love most about our Barn Family, which includes the owners, trainers, and fellow riders, is their perspective that it is not really about a love of showing a horse. It is about a love of the horse. That love includes everything: feeding, cleaning stalls, grooming, vet visits, early mornings, late nights, and simply spending time with the animal. It is the total investment of care that builds trust and partnership between horse and rider.

Leadership is no different. The culture, trust, and impact of an organization are built in the ordinary, consistent moments when leaders show up, serve their teams, and care about people even when there is no spotlight. The best leaders understand that success is not about show day. It is about loving the work, the day-to-day care, the effort no one applauds, and the commitment that makes the big moments possible.

Small Changes Can Make a Big Impact

A slight adjustment, a softer hand, a better posture, a subtle cue, can completely change how a horse responds. I have watched my daughter spend hours perfecting the placement of her pinky fingers on the reins or fine-tuning the tension her legs apply to the horse’s side. To a casual observer, which is me, you would never notice these micro-adjustments. But believe me, she tells me all about them on the car rides to and from the barn.

Leadership works the same way. Small, intentional changes in how we listen, encourage, or communicate can have an outsized effect, even if no one else notices. Sometimes the difference between stagnation and growth, frustration and trust, is a subtle shift in how we show up as leaders.

Wins Are Shared, Not Owned

When my daughter has a great ride, the horse gets the pats, the treats, and the credit. Meanwhile, I am still wondering if there is a less expensive sport she might enjoy.

The truth is, it takes an entire team. Yes, the rider is important, but so is the horse. And behind them both are trainers, friends, family, and a multitude of other supporters and encouragers. Each person plays a role, whether it is teaching, hauling gear, offering encouragement after a tough ride, or simply cheering from the sidelines.

While the ribbons hang on my daughter’s wall, each one represents the collective effort of people who have stood by her side and poured themselves into her development.

Leadership is no different. Success is never a solo act. Great leaders know to share the spotlight, recognizing that every achievement reflects the contributions of many. The best leaders celebrate wins with gratitude, giving credit to those who make the success possible.

Learning about horses has been eye-opening (and budget-opening). More than that, it has been a reminder that leadership, like riding, is about humility, partnership, and growth. The best leaders, like the best riders, know it is not about control or being the star performer. It is about working together to become something more than either could be alone.

What about you? What activities, your own or your kids, have unexpectedly taught you lessons about leadership?